Stoker's Spooky Corner

This is a place where I post things and say stuff.

Some thoughts on aftercare

Reblogged from her-master

her-master:

I think relatively little has been written or said about aftercare in the BDSM world. You can find thousands of articles that will tell you where and how to hit someone with a cane, but many fewer that tell you what to do to her afterward. Part of this is common sense. No thoughtful lover fucks and runs in the vanilla world. Everything can be more intense in BDSM, so a little extra thought should be devoted to what happens after.

I’ll address most of these brief comments to Doms, but subs, you should remember that your Dom may need care too. While I believe it is His responsibility to take care of you, a session can be very draining and leave a Dom feeling very empty afterward too. Try to maintain the intimacy, avoid off topic conversation and critical remarks, and just be there for Him. In a BDSM experience, a Dom often feels a level of mastery and control akin to being a Greek god. Coming back to earth can be difficult and more than a little painful.

Doms, you should realize that not every experience with your sub will be mindblowing, but, when it is, her mind will really be blown. Sub drop is a topic for another day, and maybe one I’m not particularly qualified to write on, is basically a natural counterpart to the tremendous high of a BDSM experience. It can happen for many reasons, and it doesn’t always happen. Aftercare is designed to help with sub drop, but it does much more and is needed even where there is no sub drop. It is part of a relationship and part of forging that connection between you and your sub. There are many ways to do this, and, as long as you’re paying attention to her needs and her reactions, it’s hard to go wrong. A skilled Dom will be able to handle aftercare covering the full range of experiences—from a quicky in a public place to a scene that’s so intense it’s triggering. Adapt and pay attention. Though there’s nothing set in stone, here are some ideas I’ve found useful:

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This is good advice for D/s play no matter what the gender(s) of the people involved.  Aftercare really doesn’t get the attention it deserves.  Which is strange to me, as I personally enjoy it as much as every other part of play.

Posted June 17, 2013 at 5:12 am 577 notes

Reblogged from ghosts-in-the-library

(Source: artschoolglasses)

Posted May 17, 2013 at 4:45 pm 265 notes

Reblogged from baturday

Posted May 17, 2013 at 12:12 pm 852 notes

Reblogged from 04range

Posted May 17, 2013 at 12:11 pm 59990 notes

Reblogged from 04range

(Source: causeallidoisdance)

Posted May 17, 2013 at 12:11 pm 37938 notes

Reblogged from opaldragonthings

(Source: shavingryansprivates)

Posted May 17, 2013 at 12:11 pm 147697 notes

Reblogged from technicolorpie

skarvika:

jessfreefallin:

thekrustycook:

Ah :(

Wow this made me cry like a baby

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS TO ME WHAT THE FUCK

my feelings…

(Source: emmajeannoble)

Posted May 17, 2013 at 12:10 pm 32900 notes

Transgender Rights in the Era of Same-Sex Marriage: Are We Forgetting the

Reblogged from neil-gaiman

The United States moves inexorably toward granting equality to the L.G.B., but in the process, while still pronouncing that satisfying final consonant, we often, in practice, drop the T. No federal law offers protection to transgender people from discrimination in the workplace; the population sees double the usual rate of unemployment, and ninety per cent of transgender individuals report harassment, mistreatment, or discrimination at work.

(Source: neutrois)

Posted May 17, 2013 at 12:10 pm 1766 notes

Reblogged from opaldragonthings

opaldragonthings:

anthonyholden:

What are studios looking for? How can I get into a good animation school? What should I be studying?

I get a lot of these types of questions now and again, and I never know how to answer them. I can’t be sure of what studios are looking for, I don’t control admissions policies to schools, and I have little idea what makes for a current and relevant curriculum. There are a lot of variables in your bid for a career in animation, and it’s kind of impossible to control most of them. You must be crazy to want this job!

I find it helpful to focus on the things I can control. Among those things are your study habits and how you spend your personal time. It’s good to work hard and have goals—without them we would get nowhere. Study hard and make decisive strides towards achieving your art goals. But in the heat of that pursuit, don’t forget to go out and live your life!

If you spend any amount of time looking at artists online, you’ve probably figured out by now that there are about a million dudes and dudettes in internetville who draw better than you (I relive this realization daily). Once your have done your best to rise to their level, the only tool you have to compete with these crazy talents is your background, your personal character—is you!

Consider developing your whole self with the same raw focus and intensity that you develop a particular skill set. Get focused. Go out, have adventures. Run, jump, skin your knee, fall in love, root loudly for the away team at a baseball game, barely escape a crash of stampeding rhinos, live to see another day. Experience things big and small. Go for a walk. The world is full of wonders.

I know this advice is not particularly animation-specific, but maybe that’s for the best. At any rate, it is something I feel strongly about. Animation is great, and there are few things that I enjoy doing more than drawing and storytelling. But in order to have stories to tell, first you have to live them.

Be good, and see you soon!

PS, if you were looking for advice on draftsmanship you should probably be reading this.

Awww I needed this

Posted May 17, 2013 at 4:26 am 21312 notes

Reblogged from opaldragon

science-junkie:

Why everything you know about wolf packs is wrong
By Lauren Davis

The alpha wolf is a figure that looms large in our imagination. The notion of a supreme pack leader who fought his way to dominance and reigns superior to the other wolves in his pack informs both our fiction and is how many people understand wolf behavior. But the alpha wolf doesn’t exist—at least not in the wild…

Although the notions of “alpha wolf” and “alpha dog” seem thoroughly ingrained in our language, the idea of the alpha comes from Rudolph Schenkel, an animal behaviorist who, in 1947, published the then-groundbreaking paper “Expressions Studies on Wolves.” During the 1930s and 1940s, Schenkel studied captive wolves in Switzerland’s Zoo Basel, attempting to identify a “sociology of the wolf.”

In his research, Schenkel identified two primary wolves in a pack: a male “lead wolf” and a female “bitch.” He described them as “first in the pack group.” He also noted “violent rivalries” between individual members of the packs… Thus, the alpha wolf was born. Throughout his paper, Schenkel also draws frequent parallels between wolves and domestic dogs, often following his conclusions with anecdotes about our household canines. The implication is clear: wolves live in packs in which individual members vie for dominance and dogs, their domestic brethren, must be very similar indeed.

A key problem with Schenkel’s wolf studies is that, while they represented the first close study of wolves, they didn’t involve any study of wolves in the wild… In more recent years, animal behaviorists, including [wildlife biologist L. David] Mech, have spent more and more time studying wolves in the wild, and the behaviors they have observed has been different from those observed by Schenkel and other watchers of zoo-bound wolves. In 1999, Mech’s paper “Alpha Status, Dominance, and Division of Labor in Wolf Packs” was published in the Canadian Journal of Zoology. The paper is considered by many to be a turning point in understanding the structure of wolf packs…

Mech’s studies of wild wolves have found that wolves live in families: two parents along with their younger cubs. Wolves do not have an innate sense of rank; they are not born leaders or born followers. The “alphas” are simply what we would call in any other social group “parents.” The offspring follow the parents as naturally as they would in any other species. No one has “won” a role as leader of the pack; the parents may assert dominance over the offspring by virtue of being the parents. While the captive wolf studies saw unrelated adults living together in captivity, related, rather than unrelated, wolves travel together in the wild. Younger wolves do not overthrow the “alpha” to become the leader of the pack; as wolf pups grow older, they are dispersed from their parents’ packs, pair off with other dispersed wolves, have pups, and thus form packs of their owns.

This doesn’t mean that wolves don’t display social dominance, however… Wolves (and other animals, including humans), display social dominance, it just isn’t always easy to boil dominant behavior down to simple explanations. Dominant behavior and dominance relationships can be highly situational, and can vary greatly from individual to individual even within the same species. It’s not the entire concept of wolves displaying social dominance that was dispelled, just the simple hierarchical pack structure…


Source: io9.com

Images credit: Caninest - Michael Cummings

Posted May 17, 2013 at 4:26 am 3247 notes